This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
