It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
