She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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