no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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