I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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