Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
