Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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