I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
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