well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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