We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
How does it feel to date your dad?
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