Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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