Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
