so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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