Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
