FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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