Texts From Last Night

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  Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies

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  (+02): Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies http://tfl.nu/80zn
  Replies (15) Good night (2722) Bad night (517)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.

  (376): View more from

  you are insane

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  (901): Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere. (376): you are insane http://tfl.nu/nfoh
  Replies (12) Good night (3632) Bad night (912)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts

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  (248): I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts http://tfl.nu/hn1f
  Replies (7) Good night (2714) Bad night (668)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  why?

  (708): View more from Illinois

  so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.

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  (708): you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend (1-708): why? (708): so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement. http://tfl.nu/h2nt
  Replies (163) Good night (3488) Bad night (1159)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  quadriplegic porn is always funny

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  no. no its not

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  (417): quadriplegic porn is always funny (832): no. no its not http://tfl.nu/0tdp
  Replies (38) Good night (1248) Bad night (4633)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza

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  (513): you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza http://tfl.nu/lm16
  Replies (7) Good night (3550) Bad night (711)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  nope, you were tallying rejections at the party

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  (313): hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots? (734): nope, you were tallying rejections at the party http://tfl.nu/c1is
  Replies (8) Good night (1080) Bad night (5960)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose

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  (781): im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose http://tfl.nu/q51l
  Replies (51) Good night (1710) Bad night (6478)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.

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  (405): You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts. http://tfl.nu/ijh6
  Replies (14) Good night (4457) Bad night (1264)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.

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  (571): I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet. http://tfl.nu/230n
  Replies (5) Good night (2951) Bad night (1104)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me

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  (713): Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me http://tfl.nu/9ft0
  Replies (4) Good night (777) Bad night (1713)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight

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  (713): I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight http://tfl.nu/pekh
  Replies (14) Good night (1876) Bad night (1158)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.

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  (501): I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet. http://tfl.nu/tfvj
  Replies (8) Good night (1674) Bad night (782)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.

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  (218): My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick. http://tfl.nu/r953
  Replies (11) Good night (1639) Bad night (628)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?

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  (203): Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013? http://tfl.nu/6zdp
  Replies (3) Good night (708) Bad night (446)

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