ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
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Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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