Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
