Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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