im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
apparently the secret to your success is patron
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
