I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
