hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no shave November. This is our time.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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