so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize