You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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