Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
They have beer where we have blood.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
