You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
