I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
