SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize