i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
