why didn't you poke me back
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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