I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
