Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
