I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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