the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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