Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
