i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
