my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
