I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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