i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
