Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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