Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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