420 ftw
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
