I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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