That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
