Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
