Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
