I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
