The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize