I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize