imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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