i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize