she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
