Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
