I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
