So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
