why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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