ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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