oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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