Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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