eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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