You really coming over, don't trick.
3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
