Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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