if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
