Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize