I just threw up on my dentist
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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