She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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